Bill Makes Podcasts Posts

Life is hard out there for werewolves. Full moons, silver bullets
If one were a werewolf, I would think that you would want to be a werewolf in a girls dormitory!

It would be the perfect place to hang out; filled with beautiful yummy things to kill!
It’s like a Golden Corral for lycanthropes!

There are obvious advantages to being a grumpy old man.
Disregard for societal norms, the ability to say “Back in my day…” and of course, senior citizen discounts.

Battle of the Worlds is basically Claude Rains trying to trying to tell the leaders of the world that a massive meteor is heading to earth and will probably kill us all!
They ignore him because he IS a grumpy old man.

End it all now, Giant Meteor!

Are you a Monster Kid?

Did you grow up with Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine?

Did you build glow in the dark Aurora Monster Model kits?

Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t.

No matter when you were born, no matter how old or how young you are, if you love monster movies, then you are, by definition, a Monster Kid, and boy do I have something for YOU!

It’s gotta be hard getting out there and dating when you are a Mad Scientist.

There’s no match.com for Evil Geniuses!
Unless that’s what Tinder is; I am uncertain.

There comes a time in a man’s life when he wants to settle down with a nice girl, so they do what anyone else would do:

Sew together a lifeless female body, zap it with electricity and bring it to life.

Actors gotta work, actors gotta eat.

Even Academy Award Winners gotta put food on the table.

I assume this is what Dean Jagger (Best Supporting Actor, 1949, “Twelve O’Clock High”) was thinking when he signed on the dotted line for “X The Unknown” and ended up battling radioactive Jello pudding.

There’s a Bill Cosby joke in there somewhere, but I am afraid to make it.

When it comes to disaster movies, you tend to think of something Irwin Allen did in the 1970’s.

The Towering Inferno! A movie about a burning building that wants to kill you. The Poseidon Adventure! A movie about a sinking ship that wants to kill you.

Every time you turn around, something is trying to kill you.
In this movie, it’s giant rocks.

“The Monolith Monsters”!
Giant rocks that want to kill you!

Sometimes, a vampire just wants to relax.

But in this teen-filled vampire movie from 1958, “The Return of Dracula” – Dracula – the King of All Vampires, The Lord of Darkness, Vlad the Impaler, decides to retire.

He leaves the moderate climate of Europe and, for some reason, settles down in a little podunk town in California with your Nana, your annoying little brother and your sullen teenage boyfriend.

Before John F. Kennedy double dog dared us, going to the moon was something we just dreamed about.

In “Cat Women of the Moon”, man (and woman) finally makes it to the moon and finds a dying race of leotard clad beatnik feminists bent on invading Earth and conquering everyone through seduction, mind control and teleportation.

Bonus points for interpretive dance and jazz flute music.